Billionaire Boy by David Walliams

Author:David Walliams
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

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Sapphire's Birfday Wish-list

Sapphire’s Birfday Wish-list

A solid gold Rolls Royce convertible

A million pounds in cash

500 pairs of Versace sunglasses

A holiday home in Marbella (large)

A bucket of diamonds

A unicorn

A box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates (large)

A great big massive like really big yacht

A large tank of topical fish*

‘Beverly Hills Chihuahua’ on DVD

* I think she must mean tropical fish, rather than fish that are up on the news and current affairs.

5000 bottles of Chanel perfume

Another million pounds in cash

Some gold

Lifetime subscription to OK magazine

A private jet (new please, not second-hand)

A talking dog

General expensive stuff

100 designer dresses (I don’t mind which ones as long as they are expensive. Any ones I don’t like me mum can flog down the market)

A pint of semi-skimmed milk

Belgium

“Of course I will get all these things for you, my angel sent from heaven,” slobbered Mr Spud.

“Thanks, Ken,” said Sapphire, her mouth full of crisps.

“It’s Len,” corrected Dad.

“Oh, sorry, yeah! LOL! Len! Silly me!” she said.

“You can’t be serious!” said Joe. “You’re not really going to buy her all that stuff are you?”

Mr Spud gave Joe an angry look. “Why not, son?” he said, trying to control his temper.

“Yeah, why not, you little git?” said Sapphire. Definitely not controlling her temper.

Joe hesitated for a moment. “It’s plain to see you’re only with my dad for the money.”

“Don’t talk to your mother like that!” shouted Mr Spud.

Joe’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. “She’s not my mother, she’s your stupid girlfriend and she’s only seven years older than me!”

“How dare you!” fumed Mr Spud. “Say sorry.”

Joe defiantly remained silent.

“I said, ‘say sorry’!” shouted Mr Spud.

“No!” shouted Joe.

“Go to your rooms!”

Joe pushed back his chair, making as much of a clatter as possible, and stomped upstairs, as the staff pretended not to see.

He sat on the edge of his bed and cradled himself in his arms. It was a long, long time since anyone had hugged him, so he hugged himself. He squeezed his own sobbing plumpness. He was beginning to wish that Dad had never invented ‘Bumfresh’ and they were all still living in the council flat with Mum. After a few moments, there was a knock on the door. Joe sat in defiant silence.

“It’s your dad.”

“Go away!” shouted Joe.

Mr Spud opened the door and sat down next to his son on the bed. He nearly slid off the bedspread onto the floor. Silk sheets may look nice, but they aren’t very practical.

Mr Spud bumjumped a little nearer to his son.

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